Over the last couple of months, I have been thinking about adulting and making friends. As adults, we are supposed to know and manage things, be the boss of our house and live and exude the confidence that we may or may not have.
I have been an adult since I was one and a half. I have a younger brother and when he came into the world, I became the older sibling who had to be the responsible one. I have not known mischief even as a distant acquaintance. I have been setting up the right example for far too long. So the feeling that I have lived with around friends is always being the one who has things under her wings. Whether I do something or not and is a matter for another day, my mind is always thinking how to make things comfortable for family and friends.
But things change. They always do.
Over the last two years, I have met some good people around who have taken care of me. Those who have sent a bowl of chicken soup or some warm healthy homemade pasta. Those who have made me tea and called me over for a chat. As much as urban life is distant and aloof, having good neighbors is a blessing. I have been lucky to not just have one but two good neighbors who are now friends.
I have often thought about what has worked. And the answer lies in very simple things. One that stands out for me is being yourself. Be who you are. If you are genuine and a natural, you will have your own tribe.
Space is another one that is important. We live a life of complexities. Each of us has our own share of things to deal with. Closeness is not measured by how much you know about other people. It is a measure of how easy you can be in the company of others or how comfortable people feel in your company.
Sharing is caring. As simple and cliched as that sounds, it matters. That smoothie that you share with a kid next door or that bowl of mutton someone brings for you, is more than a gesture. It is love and care in a simple way. There are no Corelles on the table or an apple crumble pie for dessert but there is familiarity and trust when a bowl of food goes from one house to the other.
I also believe in vulnerability and letting your guards down. Adulting is hard and every adult struggles. But how many of us admit? So when someone does, how do you react? Do you brush it off or do you listen with empathy and care? Listening to understand is what we fail at. We are always ready with responses. So when someone opens up their heart with you, listen and build that trust.
There is no recipe or play book for making good friends. But like one of my friend says, make the most of the time you have now and enjoy it while it lasts.
What do you think? Feel free to share some of your thoughts with me in the comments below.
Every first Monday of a month, I will share with you a piece of sky that I see and some reflections. If that is something that strikes a chord with you, you are most welcome to join. There are no rules here. The next edition will be live on November 6, 2023.
- If you are a reader, let me know what you think of the post and the reflections. Your comment will give me some food for thought.
- If you are a blogger and would like to write – post a picture of your sky, write on your blog and leave a link here. Better if you can also link back to this post.
- Last request – don’t forget to tell me the city and country where you clicked the picture.
Before you go, don’t forget to read the reflections and see the slice of sky posted on This sky and some reflections #3: